Day one of kid free-ness this summer. I left them asleep at my mom's this morning. The flight home was long and boring, and I spent it jacked up by caffeine from a mocha frappuccino which is the first one I'd had in a long, long time. The poor fellow next to me had to deal with me tapping and wiggling in my seat to the music on my iPod until the battery ran out. Of course, then I just tapped into the XM radio they provided on the flight.
I am still feeling restless so I went to the park to walk it off. That's when I got caught in the rain. What fun! I was absolutely drenched by the time I got back to my car and will probably have to sit on a towel tomorrow morning to work so as not to get my seat wet from the wet seat. But the last few days have been fun and that just added to it. I spent time with friends and family and we laughed and laughed and laughed. And there was cake too!
We went to a long time friend's for dinner and their garden is like a fantasy land. Flowers in every color in every available spot. Humming birds fighting over their nectar pots, plump cats lazing in the shade or in the sun as the day cooled off. Friends enjoying dinner, a glass of wine, and the same stories we'd heard a hundred times. One of the things I love about Seattle is the fact that everything is right there. The city is right by the water or rather there is water right there by the city. There are hills and beaches, parks and markets. There really is a Starbucks on every corner and then some. But there are also Tully's and Seattle's Best competing for the caffeine market.
Joe remarked that he liked the smell of the air. I said "That's fresh air" since it was the end of June and I was able to wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt during the day and not get overwhelmed until we got to Alki Beach and watched the beach volleyball tournament going on. And it wasn't due to the weather! The best part (ok second best part) of that was the music they were playing. Beastie Boys and Run DMC were very popular in Seattle the last time I lived there in 1987. Crazy.
I know Seattle gets a bad rap for a lot of rain, but that's simply not the case...there are more days with rain, but it's not like the torrential downpours that occur here in the South during the summer (the kind I got caught in). It's a drizzle. A fine mist. The really bad storms are what constitutes a winter in Seattle in and around Thanksgiving. Snow usually occurs in February and afterwards it's crisp and clear, sunny and wonderful. What Seattle should be known for is the grayness. Overcast without rain. Because of its position between two mountain ranges (Olympic and Cascades for the beginners), the rain from the ocean gets dumped on the west side of the first (hence the rain forest in the Olympic mountains), then the pressure is relieved over the sound to build up again right before the second range. On the eastern side of the state, a desert. Washington State History....I got an A! Although, I couldn't name all the counties like I once could.
All that being said, one of the treasures of the city is a view of the mountain. A local will know what that means. In my training session last week, the instructor had spent some time in Seattle and he mentioned being able to see both mountain ranges from the office in the area. I asked him if he could see the mountain. He said only if he craned his neck at the seam of the window to the wall. No one else in the class understood that I meant Mt. Rainier. It lies well south of the city, but on a clear, fine day, it's like it's right below Safeco Field at Pioneer Square on the waterfront. So this weekend was particularly special in that I saw the mountain every time I turned around. From the snow covered peak down to the dusky base. Pair that with a glorious full moon up on Saturday night while the sun was setting around 9:30, it was a sight to behold.
I realize that a lot of people will think I am kooky for some of the things I write, but as a friend said, I write down what other people think. I know I can't possibly be the only person that finds the shape of the trees along the highway beautiful with the flashes of their silver undersides showing when the wind picks up. Or thinks that the eerie light from the street lamps reflected on the cloud cover is like a fuzzy wool blanket, cocooning us all in at night. I enjoy sitting on the porch when it's raining out to connect with nature without all the busy-ness that man has made getting in the way. Watching the colors come back into focus when the rain passes, the greens crisper, the blacks denser as though the water has replenished them.
I filled out a compatibility survey earlier and one of the things that my answers to the variety of questions showed was my level of openness. I'm directly quoting here "...As someone high in openness, you have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. Indeed, it’s likely that you are easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of your openness is your emotional insight; that is, you probably have good access to and awareness of your own emotions." It's the moments of slowing down, appreciating the beauty in nature and the natural phenomenons like rain storms or the full moon, that I am able to refresh my soul. Get my creative juices flowing and be able to express my feelings.
I often wonder why I feel compelled to write what some people feel are deeply personal and private thoughts on such a public forum. I guess it's because like my friend said, we all think it. Connecting with others in such a way even if I have to take it on faith that someone else is connecting or getting the "ah-ha" moment after reading something I've written. Getting my view point out there...and we all know how I like to have the final word. It's also a way to get the feelings out of me and store them some place if they get to be too much for me to carry around inside. After a good episode of writing, I am physically drained. It's all out, in black and white (sometimes red!).
I'm not sure what's happened within me over the last few months. If I've magically crossed some maturity threshold or the air is different here or what, but I have changed my thought processes. Even when things are not at their best, I am trying to visualize the way things should be, the positive outlook. Taking a deep breath and a step back before I cycle down into the negatives. I guess I just realized it's more fun to visualize positives than negatives. I'm enjoying music again, getting outside and exercising, listening and learning, stepping outside of my comfort zone. I am enjoying life again, or maybe for the first time. Making plans, doing stuff instead of hiding in the house, watching life go by through the mini-blinds.
A friend that read some of my latest entries said I sounded lonely. I didn't think so, but maybe I am. I guess I do want someone to get caught in the rain with or to at least tell them all about it when I come home drenched with my shoes squishing. Someone that will hand me a towel and laugh with me at the ridiculousness of it all. And then when I am dry and warm again, someone to snuggle with on the couch and watch a good movie. So maybe I am lonely, but I'll be patient in this one thing. No more rushing into something that will end badly or never start up. I know he is out there. I can't possibly have all this emotion in me and not be meant to share it with someone special that will appreciate it.
And on that note, I am off to snuggle up on the couch and watch a movie.
Until later....
Annie M.
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